Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize