The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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