Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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