i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
