So drunk, too bad you don't want this
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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