i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
