the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
