I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
