We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
