Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
More tranny stories later!
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
