the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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