nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
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