You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
