I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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