I wannas sexs uuuuu
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
