i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
