On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
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