i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
