i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
