Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
