i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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