Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
