Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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