When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Damn victory sex feels great
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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