Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
