My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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