So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
