Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
