i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
