I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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