I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
