sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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