the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
accomplished twins. life is a go
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
