ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
