oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
