Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
