absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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