I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Plan B is the new Plan A
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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