So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
