it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
