i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You ate ashes out of my bong
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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