it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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