What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
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