Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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