Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
