He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
