she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
