White coat. Heels.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
