Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
