We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
