no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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