you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
